You are in love. Your partner means that world to you. You would do anything for them, except hang around their family, whom you dislike with every fiber of your being.
Hate on the in-laws: You are not alone
If you are not fond of your in-laws, and vice versa, you are not alone with this feeling. Perhaps it is the very nature of the relationship, but conflict with in-laws is nothing new. There are many relationships that experience friction because of the lack of compatibility amongst the spouse and the parents.
And even if the situation of hate is common, the problem is rather complex. It has a negative impact on the relationship, leading to mental health and relationship issues that may even require online psychiatrist consultation.
Moreover, lack of amicable relationship with the in-laws also brews more conflict. It makes things miserable for the spouse; imagine having to choose between the love of your life and your family. No one should be put in such a place.
However, not addressing the issues is also not an option. Your feelings of dislike towards your in-laws are also real. You do not have to simmer in the negative emotions. There are things that you can do to improve your situation.
Handling the dislike towards your in-laws
Talk to your spouse
It helps to put your cards on the table. Tell your partner about your concerns regarding your in-laws’ conduct. They can then moderate the situation better.
However, be very careful of how you phrase the concerns; if your spouse goes on defensive, rather than improving situation, you may have paved way for more conflict.
Maintain a civil conduct
Instead of later regretting about losing your cool, and coming off as the unstable one, always be civil in your conduct. As they say, kill them with kindness. But it does not mean that you become their doormat, it just means that you regulate your emotions, so you do not appear reactive. Observe each moment rationally and respond smartly.
Let’s not go to the sensitive domain
To ensure smooth waters, refrain from broaching the sensitive topics. Do not attack your in-laws, or else, they will reverse attack you. Moreover, it hurts when you are hit below the belt, so why would you do that to others?
Firm boundaries
From the very get go, have firm boundaries in place. If you have an unlimited access into your life, putting your foot down will become very hard. And when you eventually do, there will be greater opposition to it as well.
Therefore, make them aware of how much meddling you are comfortable with, and do not be afraid to say no when they try crossing your boundaries.
Agree to dislike, period
If despite your earnest efforts, you are unable to gain the approval of your in-laws, make your peace with it. You cannot appease every person on the planet, so why get riled about being unable to win over the in-laws.
Once you assimilate the fact that they will not like you ever, and that should be fine, some of the pressure will be released. And it will become easier for you and your relationship then.
Stop being reactive
If you take personally, every remark they make, you will go crazy very soon. So, for the sake of your relationship, do not be reactive.
Getting professional help
Sometimes, the impact of the in-laws on your life cannot be shrugged off. It may be the case that you are hypersensitive, or it may be that your spouse heeds to the hate your in-laws have for you.
In either case, your mental health gets gravely affected. Alongside causing an avalanche of negative emotions, it can also swiftly morph into anxiety, stress and at times, even depressive thoughts as well. If you feel that your mental health is suffering greatly, you should consider getting professional help from an expert like a psychiatrist in Rawalpindi. Your mental well-being is very important, and you should take steps to protect it.
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